A Redditor parted ways with his ex. Years later, he received an unsettling call from her brother. He discovered she had hidden their daughter from him for 19 years.
Redditor barelydad and his girlfriend were both 19 when they broke up. A few weeks later, she disclosed her pregnancy to him. However, he wasn’t ready to enter fatherhood so early.
The Original Poster (OP) was relieved after his ex told him she wasn’t willing to carry the baby to term. The OP agreed, and the two never contacted again.
He assumed she had aborted. He felt everything happened so quickly and moved on without looking back. The OP explained:
“She only contacted me once saying it was done, and we didn’t speak again.”
Roughly 16 years later, he found out his ex had died. He felt sorry but never profoundly connected. Three years later, he got an unsettling call from her brother, Rob.
The OP couldn’t piece things together until Rob disclosed a disturbing secret. For 19 years, he’d believed his girlfriend had aborted. However, it turned out to be a lie. He added:
“My ex passed away 3 years ago, and my daughter Kara has been living with her uncle.”
He and Rob had a lengthy conversation. The OP was enraged for never being told about his daughter. He pressed Rob for more details.
Rob told him that his sister backed out from the abortion last minute. She’d decided not to involve the OP since they’d already broken up. Rob told him his niece Kara didn’t know the truth, and it would be better that way. The OP said:
“I couldn’t believe it. Rob (her uncle) told me he knows his sister was wrong for that but promised Kara doesn’t have any negative feelings towards me.”
Kara grew up assuming her dad didn’t want to be involved in her life as he couldn’t care well for her. Rob requested him not to share these details with her as she would have a wrong impression of her mother.
The father and daughter exchanged a lot of texts. They tried to know more about each other. The OP met Kara twice, and it was super emotional. He wrote:
“Looking at this girl who looks just like me and hurting that we’re just barely getting to know each other.”
On their third meeting, Kara had some obvious questions. She asked the OP what made him abandon her. She had no clue about his breakup and the abortion.
The OP became anxious. He recalled Rob telling him not to tell Kara anything. However, he couldn’t pretend he was the bad person anymore and confessed the truth to her.
Several people criticized the OP’s ex for hiding his child from him for almost two decades.
He told her that he had no idea she existed until her uncle reached out to him. The truth shattered Kara. She told OP that she still wanted him involved in her life and left.
Rob and his parents blew up over the phone. They condemned the OP for telling the truth and how it affected Kara’s impression of them.
The OP thought he’d destroyed his daughter’s perception of her late mother and doubted his decision. After reading his post, one user said:
“The people who lied to her for her entire life are to blame for her being upset at the lies. I do hope you are planning on staying in her life now.”
The OP reflected on some good advice he received from the online community. He responded to the user by saying:
“I intend to be in her life. It makes me very sad that I already missed out on so much, and I want the opportunity to build something with her. It would be awful just to leave when there’s finally a chance to be her father.”
Several people criticized the OP’s ex for hiding his child from him for almost two decades. They supported him, saying he didn’t have to oblige to the lie.
Redditor beka13 condemned Kara’s maternal family, saying: “I think the mother’s whole family is culpable in the deceit, and they’re angry that Kara knows they lied.”
The OP decided to take Kara for counseling based on the suggestion from the Redditors. He was overwhelmed and hoped to lead a wonderful relationship with her.
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