30 Most Common Sexual Fantasies

Have you ever had naughty thoughts about a professor or boss? Ever imagined what it would feel like to get it on in public? Or maybe you thought, “Oh, that’s hot,” when you heard Doja Cat sing about getting freaky with a mirror on the ceiling on Freaky Deaky. These are just some examples of sexual fantasies, and guess what? We all have them.

“People have sexual fantasies for the same reason they have other fantasies, sometimes it’s a form of escape and other times it’s the wondering of what would happen if…,” says Dr. Donna Oriowo, a certified sex therapist and founder of AnnodRight.

For some, a fantasy can mean simply bringing a bullet vibrator into the bedroom for some extra clitoral stimulation. For others, it could mean hanging a ceiling sex swing or grabbing some handcuffs and a blindfold. It’s safe to say, there’s a whole spectrum of fantasies that can do it for you. Some common fantasies include power play (one person dominating another sexually), threesomes or group sex, sex in public or the outdoors, and watching others have sex or being watched while having sex yourself. Exploring sexual fantasies can be a great way to ~spice~ things up in the bedroom, and if you love Halloween, it’s basically the perfect excuse to get reaaally into a character.

On the other hand, it’s also totally normal to feel weird about your fantasies when you’re not actively having them. A lot of fantasies are actually not what someone would want to do IRL (like nonconsensual or forced sex), and that’s okay! “A key characteristic of many sexual fantasies is that they’re transgressive—they break the rules of civil society, and often are not what someone would want to happen in real life. There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with you or with your partner if you or they fantasize about transgressive things,” explains Dr. Erica Marchand, a licensed couples and sex therapist.

If you do decide to fulfill a sexual fantasy (no matter how elaborate and with prior consent) remember: Every sexual act should start with a conversation—and yup, this means you should be having the sex talk with your partner (or partners) regularly. Develop a safe word (like “pineapple” or “red”) and use it to tell your partner that the scene is going too far or there’s a boundary being crossed. Once a safe word is brought up, you and/or your partner should stop immediately. This ensures safe, consensual sex.

And since you’re diving into new sexual territory, remember to check in during sex. Ask: How will I know if you’re having fun? How will I know when I need to do something different? What kind of mood or feelings do we want to have while we play?

Now, the fun part. For all of you looking for inspo (or, hey, maybe you’re just super into voyeurism), 30 women share their sexual fantasies with us, below.

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